Green Hornet
by PincushionQueens
Summary: Logic is Hermione's best friend. Luna is everything logic isn't. What will happen when Hermione decides Luna is nothing but a nuisance? Oneshot, LLHG. Female on female. Don't read if that's not your thing.


Hermione considered herself to be many things. She viewed herself as practical, logical, organized, and levelheaded. She took pride in the fact that she had been named the brightest young witch of her time. She was even learning how to control her hair without too much fuss. Above all things, though, she enjoyed predictability.

When things were predictable, she could invent different ways of overcoming any obstacles and, after much consideration, choose the right one that always led her to the end, victorious and triumphant. She had the power to change her own future, and that was what she set herself out to do. Her entire life was planned out ahead of her, and that was how she liked it.

Luna was exactly the opposite of everything Hermione believed.

_God, how does one even begin to explain Luna Lovegood?_

Luna was the wrench in her gears. Luna was the only thing that could crack Hermione's will. Luna was like a mirage in the desert; you're never sure if she's really there or not.

_Really, she can only get in my way. _

Hermione knew it was cold of her to think such things, but it was true. There was nothing that she was useful for, except for confuddling Hermione to the point of exhaustion. Oftentimes she lost sleep over the predicaments that presented themselves to her courtesy of Luna.

_Then why is it that she and I are together? We have next to nothing in common, and she only proves to be a nuisance._

Yes, that's right, only a nuisance. So there was no reason for her to say with Luna any longer, was there? No.

_So it's decided. I should find her and tell her as soon as possible. Now, even. The sooner I get this off my chest, the sooner I will be able to concentrate again. _

And so Hermione took a detour. She was originally on her way to the library for some studying before dinner – a little bit of sanctuary before having to deal with Ron and Harry. Instead, she went in the direction of the Ravenclaw Common Room. As Head Girl, she knew where the common rooms for each house were situated in case of emergency. It was a warm Saturday evening, and her jumper made her arms itch.

_Honestly, why am I with her in the first place? I must have had a momentary lapse of judgment. No, that can't be it. …Perhaps I'm ill! Note to self: research illnesses that effect proper judgment and regular common sense. _Hermione pondered to herself as she scratched her arms. Just when she thought she would have to discard the itchy piece of clothing, she heard a strange noise penetrating the walls of the castle. It sounded brash, confident and bold. A brass instrument, perhaps? Yes, it had to be.

Curiosity got the better of her (bloody illness) and she followed the sounds down the hall.

Soon, a tune seemed to emerge from behind the stones. It was fast and heavy; it reminded Hermione of swing lessons that she had taken when she was younger, which no one was ever to know about. Ever.

Hermione followed the music to a door, open only a small crack. She waited a moment before pushing it open gently just as the final crescendos permeated her senses.

What she saw in front of her made her mouth drop open and her head go for a twirl.

_Luna Lovegood plays the trumpet! _A gasp escaped her mouth.

Indeed she did. The enigma herself turned slowly at the sound of Hermione's minute gasp. She wore blue, striped pants and a white muggle tank top. She had drawn all over it and sewn buttons onto the length of the straps that were too large for her small, smooth shoulders.

"Why hello, Hermy-love. How are you this fine evening?" Her long, pale hair moved about her shoulders as she stretched her arms in the air. Hermione could hear her elbows crack.

"You… play an instrument? You play the trumpet?" Hermione was flabbergasted. Why had she not known this?

"I suppose I do, don't I? Yes, this is Georgia." She held up the shining gold instrument and gave it a kiss on the bell. Her lips left a mark.

"Err, yes, well…" Hermione nearly forgot why she was there in the first place. "I came to talk to you."

Luna's eyes glittered in happiness. She bounded over to where Hermione was standing and enveloped her in a large hug, Georgia still in her right hand. "That makes me feel oh-so special. What do you want to talk about? Hair? I rather like hair. Did you know that it's the main dietary source of Hippogriffs? Well, it is. You see, what they do is-"

Hermione cut her off. "Hippogriffs do _not _eat hair! It has no nutritional value whatsoever!" Her eyebrows were furrowed as she pulled away from the hug. Honestly, hair?

"How do you know? Have you ever eaten hair?" Luna challenged her with a competitive look and a wink.

"Well, of course not, but I know enough about it to know that it's not the main dietary source of Hippogriffs, or any other mammal for that matter!" Hermione became flustered.

"It's alright, Hermy. Relax. We can talk about what you want to talk about. What is it that you came here to talk to me about? Because we can't just stand here talking about things that you didn't come here to talk about, that would be unethical. Imagine that. Ha!" Luna then proceeded to place her hands on her hips and give out a full bellied laugh, her eyes scrunched closed and her mouth open wide, like she was in the middle of a yawn.

Hermione sighed and tapped her lightly on the shoulder. _Ridiculous. _The guffaws stopped immediately, and Luna's face now held a look of seriousness. Her cheeks were rosy.

"I don't think we should-… what I mean to say is-" She stuttered and stumbled on her words. Wasn't thissupposed to be quick and easy?

Hermione stopped speaking. Luna was wearing a contemplative smile, her hand holding her chin.

"Please, hold that thought for a moment." As Luna spoke, she looked directly into Hermione's eyes. She placed her hands on both of Hermione's shoulders and directed her to the centre of the room. _What? _Then, she placed Georgia in her hands and pushed her fingers into the right positions. She continued directing Hermione until she was in the right playing position. Hermione could do nothing but look bewildered.

"Luna, what in Merlin's name are you doing?"

Luna ignored her question. Instead, she took a step back and said one word.

"Play."

"What?" Hermione was not foolish enough to think she could play an instrument that took years to master without ever even touching one before.

"Just place your lips on the mouthpiece." Hermione did so, with a look of discomfort.

"No, no. Puckered, like you're going to kiss someone." Luna nodded her head in encouragement.

Hermione eyed the mark that Luna's lips left on the bell of the trumpet when she kissed it, and for a split second, she imagined kissing her. Really, only a second!

"Okay. Now, take a deep breath, and just blow it all out." Luna smiled and demonstrated with an imaginary trumpet. "Don't worry, Georgia takes good care of beginners."

Hermione felt incredibly foolish. She didn't know a thing about trumpets. She was the smartest witch around, and here Luna was, the strangest witch around, and yet Luna was the one teaching Hermione! A shiver ran its way up her spine.

And so, Hermione took in a deep, deep breath, held it for a second, and blew. She was sure her face was red, and she must have looked like a blowfish.

And yet, there was no sound. Not even a pitiful croak – just quiet hissing.

Hermione frowned, and let her hands drop down to her sides.

"No no no, don't give up, Hermy-love." Luna stepped closer, looked into Hermione's eyes and smiled. "Come on, you can do this. You're Hermione Granger, right?" She said as she placed her hands in playing position again, her hands lingering on Hermione's skin a little bit longer than quite necessary.

Hermione nodded. Yes, she could do this.

"Okay." Luna grinned brightly. She stepped back yet again, and instructed. "First, wet your lips. If you feel the need to shift your mouth a little bit, do so. Just before you blow, make your lips a bit tighter and make the air stream flow quicker." Hermione nodded. She wet her lips, took another deep breath, and blew.

There was a loud, brilliant sound that emanated from Georgia. It wasn't anything particularly special; only a blast of phonetics, but it was special for Hermione. She had played the trumpet!

Hermione and Luna both grinned and hugged each other. "Good job, Hermy! You might have a gift for this, you know." Luna winked.

Hermione laughed a little bit. "Maybe. It's certainly… interesting." She handed Georgia back to Luna, and Luna placed it in its case with care.

"So," Luna started, "What is it you came all the way down here to talk to Loony Lovegood about?" She turned around and faced Hermione with a small smile. Her head tilted to the side just a fraction, and her eyebrow was raised.

"Hermy" smiled. She took a deep breath and pondered.

_I think I might know what my illness is. _

"Oh, it was nothing, Luna." She grinned and blushed slightly.

_Just a momentary lapse of judgment…that's all. _

Fin!

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_Alright, I believe this is my first HP fanfiction outside of NOLF. I realized that we hadn't updating anything in a very long time, and I thought it would be nice to post something else up. This was done in under an hour, but I hope it's not too bad. Green Hornet, as I'm sure most of you know, is a song that used to be on an old TV show. It was also on Kill Bill 1. Download it and give it a shot, it's pretty good._

**_Disclaimer_**_: I don't know why this is really here, considering this isfanfiction.Anyways, I don't own HP. I don't own the lovely Ms. Lovegood or Ms. Granger, nor do I keep them locked up in my basement. No, I don't use them for my life essence. What the hell are you talking about?_

_Oh, and reviews are always nice. Thanks muchly for reading! Hugs to all._


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